I’m not the person I want to be.
I’m not the husband, father, friend, I should be.
Things haven’t been right for a while. I’m struggling to find my way in the world, I am lost. When you have an innate passion for something — mine was cooking, you feel like life is on the easier side. At one point I was getting paid for something I adored. Then, everything changed. Whether it was the weariness of fifteen years behind the stoves, the burns, the heat, the exhaustion, the constant lambasting. Maybe it was the lure of an easier life. Nights at home instead of behind the stoves. Whatever the reason, my passion dwindled. I fell out of love with the one thing I knew how to do.
When that happens, when you fall out of love with your passion, the very thing that defines you, you lose a huge part of yourself. It’s terrifying.
Writing has always been a secret passion of mine. One that I never admitted because I wasn’t sure if I was any good. Now I have decided that it doesn’t matter too much. Of course, you want your words to touch somebody, and want to gain recognition for your writing. But It’s something I love doing. Yesterdays I wrote how writing has become a form of medication for my depression. It’s filling the void left by cooking, and I plan to take it as far as I can.
These are the things I have decided can help me get on a happier path. I’m not calling these New Year resolutions because let’s face it who actually sticks to those! These are just a few steps to help improve my family life, my mental wellbeing and how I feel about myself.
1. Write every day
This I covered yesterday. I want to get to a point where I am writing every day. Today is day two of my little experiment to write and post on Medium every day.
2. Deactivate Facebook
When the first thing you do when you wake up is to check Facebook you know you’ve got a problem. To live a life with a more positive mindset, there is no room for Facebook in my opinion.
Read more about why I want to quit Facebook here.*
2. Daily Juice
I don’t eat enough fruit and vegetables, no way near the five a day. This has to change. I’m not a young man anymore I need to start taking heed of the consequences of a poor diet. I also drink way too much coffee so I decided to swap a coffee first thing in the morning with a fruit and vegetable juice. I got a juicer for Christmas and have started the day with a juice since.
Here’s my favourite one:
Apple, Celery & Ginger Juice
- 4 granny smith apples
- 2 sticks of celery
- 1/2 a thumb sized piece of ginger
3. Say something loving
It’s so easy to take your loved ones for granted. By saying something loving to my wife every day, it will show her that I love her. But will also help with my wellbeing, after all being nice makes you feel good.
4. Make more time for reading
I want to be a great writer. The only way I will achieve this is by writing more and reading more. On holiday I am an insatiable reader, but at home, life gets in the way — which is a terrible excuse. Of an evening, if I am not writing, I should be reading.
5. Do something to make the house look nice
Happy wife, happy life. It’s important for me when writing to do so in an uncluttered space. A messy room means a messy mind. As my wife seems to do the brunt of the housework, I need to show we are a partnership and start providing for the house more.
6. Do something loving
This one is along the same lines as number 3. Do something loving every day, a foot rub, an extended cuddle. Just to show that I appreciate everything my wife does for me.
7. Give my wife more of a break
My son is going through a bit of a separation anxiety stage and as a result can’t seem to be away from mummy. It’s so important to give her a good break, so I plan to come up with something that we can do together, just the boys.
Thank you for reading. Are you looking to make changes in this new year?